Kindling for the Heart Read online

  Jo held her breath as she hit dial. It rang twice, and she was about to end the call when Sam answered.

  “Jo? Is that you?” She sounded groggy.

  “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

  “I’m so glad you called back.” Sam’s tone livened.

  “I see you’ve gotten over your tears.”

  “I’ve run out of tissues. I almost cried myself to sleep, but now there’s a zebra standing in front of me and I want to reach out and touch it.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “It’s on TV. I love watching nature shows.” Sam sounded giddy now, as though thrilled they were talking.

  “I do too.” Jo tapped Mollie then stood up, needing to move around. “Especially when I’m exhausted. There’s no plot to follow and they take me to a different world.”

  “But you live in the wild,” Sam said. “Your place is beautiful. Being there is an escape in itself.”

  “Thanks, but I’d hardly consider Timmins to be the wild, and escapes are good with any place.” Jo led Mollie to the back door. “Like escaping to the city to shop or a hot climate to lay on the beach instead of freezing my ass off up here.”

  “I hope you’re nice and toasty right now.” Sam chuckled, and Jo envisioned her dimples.

  “I’ll be chilly in a minute because I’m taking Mollie out for her last time before going to bed. I should let you go.”

  “I want to come outside with you. You can describe the night sky for me.”

  Jo smiled as she stepped outside with Mollie and looked at the night sky. The air was frigid, and her breath formed in front of her face, each puff renewing hope that this conversation would go well. “There are lots of stars tonight.”

  “What would you wish for if you saw one falling?” Was Sam playing her?

  Jo kicked a frozen block of snow, trying to relax as it scraped along the ground. “If I tell you, it’ll be jinxed. Wishes made under a falling star are supposed to be kept secret if they’re to come true.”

  “I know what mine would be, but I’ll keep it to myself because I want it to come true.” Sam giggled.

  Jo reached the dark road then turned back toward her house, Mollie following without tugging. “You have to do more than wish under a star if you long for something to happen.”

  “I’d do anything to make this one come true.”

  Jo surveyed the star-studded sky, wanting to share it, and wishing Sam was here with her. “The Big Dipper is out in full tonight. And I can see Orion and even Jupiter, because the moon is hidden. It’s so spectacular Sam. I wish you could see it.”

  “I can hear it in your voice,” Sam said. “I’m so glad you called back. I hope you have a full battery, because I could stay on all night.”

  “Come on, Mollie, let’s get back inside.” Jo needed to talk about more than just zebras and stars.

  “I heard her bark. It’s just like I’m there.”

  “How’s your job going?” Jo locked her back door for the night, juggling the phone between her shoulder and ear.

  “It’s busy, but it’s been good to take my mind off other things.” Sam paused. “Like missing you.”

  “It’s been hard, Sam.” Jo suddenly felt exhausted as she headed to her bedroom and flopped backward on the bed. “This has really screwed up my life and taken a lot out of me.”

  “For me too.

  Jo stared at the glass light fixture on her ceiling. “I wish we’d never met.”

  “Please don’t say that.” Sam paused again, her breathing soft. “The fact of the matter is, I’d be frozen in the ice on Button Lake until spring if we’d never met.”

  “If you put it that way, I suppose there is some good that’s come out of this.”

  “We’re talking now, tonight. This is better than good, and the best it’s been since before my marathon drives between Timmins and Toronto.”

  “Did you actually drive all the way to Toronto that first night and then back to Timmins again the next day?”

  “Yes.” No hesitation in her response.

  “Where did you stay when you got back to Timmins and I sent you away?”

  “I drove home again.”

  “You what? Only an insane person would do that.”

  “Call me crazy if you want, but I like to think of it as determined. I needed to make things right.”

  “And what does that mean for you?”

  “I want you in my life Jo. It’s as simple as that.”

  “So we’re talking now.”

  “Yes, we are, and I feel like I’m floating on a cloud.”

  “Maybe we could just be friends.”

  Sam paused. “I consider you my best friend right now, Jo. I know things got messed up, but you’re the best lover I’ve ever had.”

  “Give me a break. We fucked twice and spent a night supposedly making love…”

  “Jo, would you please stop this,” Sam groaned. “I feel like you’re unfairly judging me and if there’s one thing I believe in, it’s everyone’s entitled to a fair trial.”

  “You’re right.” Jo sighed. “I’m sorry if I insulted you.”

  “I’m not offended, but I’d really like to move on.” Sam’s breathing picked up, as though she was pacing during a closing argument. “I know I was a sex-starved shit when we first met, but you changed me, Jo. I’m not like that anymore.”

  “So how are you now that you’re no longer a horny poop?”

  “I only have lust for you.”

  Jo laughed. “That sounds contrite, a funny way to profess your changed status. You expect me to fall for that?”

  “Maybe.” Sam snickered.

  “Perhaps we should switch the subject and talk about more practical things, like your living situation with your ex. Are you still sleeping with her?”

  “Of course not. Did you sleep with your ex when you were still living together?”

  “Are you kidding?”

  “There’s nothing for you to worry about.” Sam’s voice softened. “Trish is moving out in another week, and I’ve locked myself in my bedroom for the time being.”

  “I hated being a prisoner in my house while waiting for Jan to leave after we broke up. It was awful. I’d never want to go through that again.”

  “I hope your bamboo flooring is at least more tolerable now and you think of me when you look at it.”

  “I ripped it out.” Jo closed her eyes, wanting to forget that night. “It was impossible to keep the doubly-tainted wood in my house after you left.”

  “Oh Jo, I’m so sorry.” There was pain in Sam’s words as her voice softened. “I wish I could hug you right now.”

  “It’s okay. The living room is ready for my reclaimed oak flooring. It’ll be a good winter project for me.”

  “I want to help.”

  “Hey, Sammie poo.” Jo heard someone calling out and banging on Sam’s door. “Come and have another glass of wine.”

  “Shit, she’s drunk.” Sam moaned. “I’m sorry, Jo.”

  “Good night, Sam.” Jo ended the call and kissed her phone before crawling under the covers for the night.

  Chapter Thirty

  Jo had been intentionally ignoring her cell phone, leaving it off and charging for most of the morning so she could process the conversation with Sam. They were talking now, a big development, and she was starting to wonder if she’d been wrong about Sam. But still, Jo wanted to take things slow, and it was early afternoon before she finally checked the message on her phone.

  “Hey.” Sam’s voice was soft, but confident. “I really enjoyed talking last night. I had the best sleep in a long time. Call me when you get this.”

  Jo held the phone to her chest to catch her breath. Sam’s message was sweet, hypnotizing. Cocky. A redial reached Sam’s voice mail.

  “Hey to you too,” Jo almost whispered. “I’m feeling good about talking too. I slept so well last night Mollie had to pull me out of bed this morning. I’m heading to my mother’s for din
ner, so maybe we can connect later. You call me.”

  Jo chuckled as she ended the call and buried her face in Mollie’s fur. “Oh Mollie, what do you think? Should I give her another chance? Or maybe I’m the one who needs another chance. But she lives so far away. How are we going to deal with that?”

  By the time Jo got to her mother’s place for dinner, Anna had already set the table and her mother was taking a chicken out of the oven. The aroma reminded Jo of the chicken Sam had cooked at the cottage. Her reaction to remembering Jo was vegetarian and grabbing for some mozzarella cheese was definitely cute. Jo smiled as she heated up a soy chicken breast in the microwave for her protein.

  “How can you eat that stuff when Mom’s chicken smells so good?” Anna was preparing a lettuce salad at the island. “Oh, and by the way, Robert’s on his way over.”

  “Is he able to join us for dinner?” Her mother stood at the stove, monitoring pots of cooking vegetables.

  “I hope so,” Anna said. “I forgot my bottle of wine and he’s dropping it off.”

  “You girls don’t have to bring wine for dinner.” Her mother drained the potatoes, steaming the window above the sink.

  “I’ll put an extra setting on the table for him,” Jo said.

  “You look better this afternoon,” her mother said. “I hope you got outside for some fresh air.”

  “Mom, I’m outside a lot with my job so it’s nice to sometimes stay cuddled inside on the weekends.” The microwave beeped, and Jo got her fake chicken.

  “Hi.” Robert pushed the door open, a gust of cold air coming into the kitchen. “It sure smells good in here.”

  “I hope you can join us for dinner,” Anna said as he kicked off his boots and came inside. “Jo set a place for you.”

  “Of course Robbie will stay for dinner.” Her mother gave Robert a hug. “Good to see you.”

  “Are you sure you have enough?” Robert looked at the table, his arms still wrapped around his grandmother.

  Her mother patted his shoulder. “We have lots, especially since Jo brought her own chicken. Now go wash up and sit down.”

  Anna brought the salad and vegetables to the table then sat down. “I have vacation brochures with me. There are some good sales on right now. I think the three of us should escape for a week to get some sun.”

  “We have lots of sun,” Jo said as she buttered a warm dinner roll. “It’s so bright with all of the snow and can be blinding without sunglasses.”

  “Okay, then, I should have said warm sun because it’s been so cold lately that being able to put on a bathing suit sounds enticing. All I can wear these days are long johns and wool socks.”

  Their mother put the platter of chicken in the center of the table then sat down. “Where did you have in mind?”

  “I was thinking the Dominican Republic.” Anna took a few pieces of breast meat and cut it up on her plate. “Punta Cana has some last-minute deals at one of their all-inclusive resorts, and I think it would be good for all of us to get away.”

  “Where are we going?” Robert came from the washroom and took his seat at the table.

  “What about Mollie?” Jo asked. “I can’t just leave her.”

  “I have that all figured out.” Anna turned to her son. “Robert could stay at your place and take care of Mollie while we relax on the beach. Couldn’t you?”

  “I guess, sure. When are you leaving?”

  “Next Saturday if all goes to plan,” Anna said.

  “Wait a minute. I can’t just leave my work like that.” Jo twitched when her cell vibrated. It was Sam, she just knew it, but sent it to voice mail without taking it from the front pocket of her navy hoodie.

  Anna glared at her. “You need to take a break, Jo. Just look at you, your nerves are shot. You need a change of scenery.”

  “I’m sorry about Sam,” Robert said. “Mom told me she jerked you around. I thought she seemed nice, but then I only met her for a few minutes.”

  “Let’s not talk about Sam and enjoy our dinner,” her mother said. “Anna, why don’t you tell us more about what you had in mind? I’ve never been to the Dominican and would enjoy a winter holiday with my two girls. We all need to get away, especially you, Jo, and I know Robbie would love to spend a week with Mollie.”

  Jo couldn’t wait for dinner to end so she could slip into the bathroom to check her message. She helped clear the table and load the dishwasher then saw her opportunity to flee to the washroom when her mother began to make tea.

  “Sorry I missed your call.” Sam’s voice echoed against running water as Jo tried to conceal the reason for her visit to the bathroom from the rest of her family. “I was in a meeting and my phone was turned off. I’m turned on now, though, and ready for a call back. Hope to hear from you soon.” Sam chuckled and blew a kiss into the phone to end the message.

  Jo’s hands shook as she typed a short text to let Sam know she was at her mother’s and would touch base within the hour. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. Her cheeks were flushed. She longed to hit redial right then and there. She would wait, though, until she was alone and on her own turf where she could savor the conversation. Jo took a deep breath and headed to the after-dinner visit in the living room.

  “Are you having hot flashes already?” Anna asked from the couch, sipping tea. “Your cheeks are all red.”

  “It must have been the wine.” Jo sat in a matching chair across the room and nervously brushed at the front of her flannel shirt, as though removing crumbs from dinner. “It’s too bad Robert had to leave right after eating.”

  “Have you heard from Sam?” Her mother’s head tilted, voice softening.

  “No, Mom.” Jo shook her head, still shamed from the floor-wrecking episode and wanting her interactions with Sam kept private for the time being.

  “That’s too bad.” Her mother’s tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth. “I guess she had us all fooled. I thought for sure she’d be around for a while.”

  “Let’s focus on the future,” Anna said. “Like next Saturday when we could be on our way to an all-inclusive. I’d like to book something tomorrow.”

  “I have too much work to leave right now.” Jo wanted to hang on to vacation time in hopes of spending it with Sam.

  “You always have too much work.” Her mother pointed to one of Anna’s brochures. “This looks like a nice place. I think we should go ahead and book something.”

  “Are you okay with that Jo?” Anna asked.

  “Feel free to book something for you and Mom.” Jo stood, anxious to leave. “We just finished the open house and I have to review all of the comments on the draft forest management plan. It’s a busy time for me.”

  “Think about it, Jo,” Anna said. “You really should come with us to get a break.”

  “I agree.” Her mother got up and hugged her. “You’ve been working so hard lately, and I won’t enjoy myself as much if you aren’t with us.”

  Jo put on her coat. “I’ll let you know if I change my mind. I’d be staying in your room anyway, so it shouldn’t really matter if I don’t commit right now.”

  “But Jo, we’ll be leaving next Saturday so there isn’t much time to think about it.” Anna came near the entryway as Jo pulled on her boots. “Sleep on it and I’ll call you in the morning.”

  “Sure, whatever.”

  Sam sat in the middle of her bed, phone at the ready in her lap, willing Jo to call back.

  Trish and Joanne were in the living room cuddled up on the couch and watching a movie when Sam got home from the gym. She’d spent the afternoon at the office, preparing for the next day of jury selection. She’d be there in the background only, but knew the arguments would be based on her work behind the scenes and she would be relied upon for support. Catherine, one of her senior colleagues in the firm, had commended her efforts just this afternoon, and insinuated she may be promoted from associate to partner. It had been a good day.

  “Put it down!” Trish’s voice scr
eeched and was followed by a loud bang.

  “What’s going on?” Sam rushed to the living room to find Joanne putting on her coat and Trish crying.

  “Look what she did.” Trish pointed to a broken lamp on the floor near the TV. “That was my grandmother’s.”

  “Forget the lamp, look at my television!” Sam was more concerned about the large crack across the screen.

  “I told you I’d throw it if you didn’t give me back my phone.” Joanne clutched it in her hand as she pulled on her boots. “You have no fucking business reading my messages.”

  “I only wanted you to stop focusing on it and see who was interrupting our evening.” Trish’s voice shook.

  “I should have known you were a stupid jealous bitch,” Joanne said.

  “Get out of here right now.” Sam poked a stiff index finger toward Joanne.

  “What do you think I’m doing?” Joanne grabbed the doorknob and yanked it open. “She wasn’t even that great in bed, but then I guess you would know.” The door slammed shut and Joanne was gone.

  “Fuck.” Sam looked at her destroyed TV. “That’s it. No more guests here for you.” Her finger turned on Trish, jabbing the air as she spoke. “And you owe me a television before you leave in six days from now. No extensions or exceptions or anything. You’re getting out of my life.”

  “Please, Sam.” Trish got off the couch and tried to approach as Sam backed away. “I want to fix things between us. I’ll do anything you want.”

  “I want you out of here on the first of February. That was the deal. And clean up that mess.” Sam turned to go back to her room.

  “Can we just talk for a minute?” Trish sobbed. “Please?”

  Sam groaned with aggravation. “There’s nothing to talk about. I have a really busy week ahead and just want to relax for a bit tonight.”

  “You’re always busy. I’m taking us breaking up hard, Sam. Can’t you at least show me some compassion?”

  “You weren’t suffering last night while you were sucking face with Joanne on my couch.” Sam knew Jo would be calling any minute now and resented the intrusion.

  “I was trying to make you jealous.” Trish plopped on the couch, put her head in her hands. “She’s such a bitch and I’m glad you threw her out. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”