Kindling for the Heart Page 19

  Her hands shook as she paid the taxi driver then hobbled into the airport, eyes wet while trying to cover sobs with coughs. She hurried to the ticket counter and managed to get on the evening flight to Timmins.

  Getting through security and then finding a quiet spot to decompress was all she could think about to keep herself moving. It took her an hour before she calmed down enough to call Robert and let him know she’d be home later that night.

  “Hi.” She sniffed.

  “Please tell me that’s from a cold.”

  She choked back a sob. “I’m coming home tonight.”

  “What happened?”

  Jo’s jaw clenched, her emotions still so raw. “I should have known better. I let your mom know I’m going with them next week. I hope you’re still okay to look after Mollie.”

  “Of course I am, but are you sure about this?” He paused. “I thought you and Sam had worked things out. Something doesn’t seem right.”

  “That’s because I was all wrong about Sam. I have to go. I’ll see you when I get home.”

  Sam was in a daze when she got back to her office. Everyone had gone home for the day and she had the place to herself, but still closed her door before sitting behind the desk. Sobs followed tears as she dropped her head into her hands. What was supposed to have been one of the best nights of her life was now a nightmare and all she could think about was the look of horror on Jo’s face.

  Something wasn’t right. How could Trish have known she was meeting Jo there? She remembered her phone and found it buried under some papers on her desk. The message indicator was flashing, and she had a slew of texts. She went right to the top, her eyes focusing on Jo’s last message saying she never wanted to hear from her again.

  As she scanned through the chain of messages, she saw that Jo had sent a number of texts over the course of the day, including the one asking to meet to talk. Jo let Sam know when she landed in Toronto, hoped she was having a good day in court, touched base when the forestry meeting was over, sent another text when she got to the Eaton Centre. Then Sam saw the message from Jo saying she couldn’t meet that evening.

  She looked at the number and realized it was different than the rest of Jo’s texts. Sam scrolled to the second one of the morning and gasped. Shit. Fuck. The message was from Trish’s Jo, not hers. It had to be. She must have gotten her number from Trish at some point. That’s how Trish knew she’d be at the Eaton Centre and why she caused the scene.

  Sam immediately dialed her Jo’s number, but all she got was voice mail. “Jo, it was all a big misunderstanding. I can explain. Please talk to me. I love you.”

  Sam tried calling and sending texts, but all to no avail. Her evening with Jo was not going to happen. As tears fell, she clutched the bundle of cedar kindling Jo had thrown.

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Jo finally got back to Timmins after a painful flight of choking back sobs. She’d left her truck in the Timmins airport parking lot and was able to finally let her tears out during the drive home. Mollie was tied outside and scampered toward the vehicle, yelping as Jo stepped onto the driveway.

  “Oh, Mollie.” Jo fell to her knees and buried her wet face into cold fur. “What would I do without you?”

  “Hey.” Robert came outside, his coat open and boots unlaced. He pulled her up into his arms and stroked the back of her head. “I’m so sorry, Aunt Jo. I’m glad you made it home okay. Let’s get you in the house where it’s nice and warm.”

  “I need my pack.”

  “I’ll get your bag.” Robert ushered her toward the house. “Go ahead inside with Mollie.”

  “Thanks.” Jo forced a smile as she stumbled into the warmth, Mollie tight against her legs. At least she had this to come home to. Her house was like a quiet refuge where she could hibernate and rebuild her life with Mollie and her family.

  Jo managed to calm down and wipe away the tears after she’d had a numbing hot shower then threw on a pair of sweats. They sat in the living room, Jo self-medicating with rye and ginger ale.

  Robert shook his head. “I never would have taken Sam for a crazy bitch like that. To think she could trick you into believing you were the only one for her when she couldn’t even fool her baby dyke. Or supposed ex.”

  “No wonder she was hiding up in the bush when I found her. She’s fucked up.” Jo took a swig of her second drink. “She obviously slept with Trish the other night, saying I meant nothing to her while she’s telling me I’m everything.”

  “She must have some heavy-duty mental problems,” Robert said. “Count yourself lucky you got away when you did.”

  “Love and relationships are so overrated. Here’s to being single.” Jo held up her glass then took another gulp, ice cubes caressing her lips instead of the kisses she’d longed for.

  “Cheers.” Robert joined the toast. “Let’s have a singles’ celebration on Valentine’s Day. It’s coming up soon and all this talk of sweethearts is making me sick.”

  “Me too.” Jo patted her knee to summon Mollie. “From now on, I’m rejecting Valentine’s Day. No more talk of love or relationships.”

  “It’s not so bad being single.” Robert stared into his glass then looked up at Jo and grinned. “I’m free to do whatever I want and only have to answer to myself.”

  “And the best part about being single is no one else controls your heart. You and I are going to have a big bonfire this Valentine’s Day to celebrate our freedom.” She motioned to the floor, glass in hand almost spilling. “Those bamboo boards are getting in the way and will be perfect for a big blaze.”

  “Count me in.” Robert stood. “But for now, I have an early morning meeting and need to get some sleep. You should go to bed too. It’s been a long day for you.”

  “I will. Thanks for being here.” She stood and they hugged good night.

  Jo feared lying alone in the dark, visions of Sam still stifling her thoughts. She sat on the edge of her bed and stared at her blinking phone. There were messages from Sam, she was sure. The temptation to hear her out was strong, but Jo was determined to not give Sam the satisfaction of having her say. She began to delete everything. She would get a new phone and number first thing in the morning.

  The sun barely made an appearance the next day and Jo was content to stay indoors with the lights on, redoing her living room floor. Concentrating on work was out of the question and hammering hardwood flooring helped ease the pain. She’d stored the boards behind the couch and was manically measuring for her planned installation when Mollie began barking out the window. Someone had arrived.

  She instantly thought of Sam and jumped to her feet to see who was there. Her breathing almost matched Mollie’s then suddenly slowed as her mother approached the door.

  “How was Toronto?” The scent of her mother’s lavender lotion was soothing as they hugged.

  “It was fine.” Jo stepped back. “Come on in and take your coat off. I’ll make us tea.”

  “Are you sure? You look busy.”

  “I have been, but it’s time for a break.” Jo stood at her kitchen sink, avoiding her mother’s eyes. “I’ve started to install my oak hardwood in the living room.”

  “Oh, let me see.” Her mother headed in to have a look.

  “There’s not much to see yet because I’m still measuring and planning things out.” Jo closed her eyes against the tears she would not allow in front of her mother.

  “That looks like a big job. I thought you would have waited until after our holiday.” Her mother focused on Mollie as the dog begged for attention. “By the way, I’m so happy you’re joining us. Anna was thrilled when she got your message last night. What made you change your mind?”

  “It was being at the airport in Toronto yesterday.” Jo plopped into a chair. “I knew I had to get away and an all-inclusive where I can just veg on the beach sounded perfect.”

  Her mother sat at the table with her and reached over. “Are you okay? You look a bit pale.”

  “I’m
fine.” Jo jumped up. “I’m just tired from yesterday. The tea should be ready by now.”

  “You need to take care of yourself, Jo. This is not the time to get sick because we’re leaving in three days.”

  “Don’t worry about me.” Jo brought steaming mugs to the table. “I’ll be okay and on that plane Saturday morning no matter what.”

  Her mother stayed long enough to drink her tea then left Jo to continue with the installation of her flooring. Jo struggled to block out all thoughts of Sam, but ended up wishing she hadn’t changed her phone and number so soon. She wanted to know Sam was trying to reach her and suffering from humiliation at being caught in a lie, if nothing else.

  By the time Anna called at noon, Jo had laid three rows of flooring.

  “Did you get a new phone?” Anna asked. “I didn’t think you had to change your number for that.”

  “It was time for an upgrade so why not?” Jo had emailed her new number to a few close family members and work colleagues as soon as she got back from the store that morning. “I’m laying my oak flooring right now. It’s starting to take shape and looks much nicer than what was there before.”

  “Have you started packing yet? I’ve been checking out the weather in Punta Cana and it’s looking so nice. I can’t wait. It’s a good thing you changed your mind and are coming with us. It’ll be fun.”

  “I’m sure it will.”

  “So why did you change your number?”

  “It was time for a new one.”

  “You saw Sam yesterday in Toronto, didn’t you?”

  “Not really.” Jo closed her eyes, wishing her sister would just drop it. “It was a short, fast trip and I’m happy I didn’t get sucked into anything.”

  “With her? Has Sam been trying to contact you?” Anna paused. “Of course she has, that’s why you changed your number. Has she been harassing you?”

  “No, but I need to move on.” If anyone was harassing Jo, it was herself for believing Sam could be trusted. “I’m glad Robert will be staying with Mollie next week.” Time to change the focus.

  Anna bit. “I worry about him sometimes. I wish he’d find someone to settle down with.”

  “It’s not bad being single. And he’s still young.”

  “I know, but still. I hope to one day become a grandmother and it would be nice to have grandkids here because I know Sarah will never move back north.”

  “Things don’t always turn out the way you want.” Jo’s voice caught as she fought back tears. “I’ve got to go. Talk to you later.” She ended the call just in time to release her sob. Moving on from Sam was going to be hard.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Sam slammed into a corner of her dresser then stubbed a big toe on the foot of the bed as she rushed to answer her phone. She’d just gotten out of the shower and was still dripping wet when the ringing began.

  “Ouch. Fuck. Hello.”

  A telemarketer’s robocall imitating the foghorn of a cruise ship blasted into her ear.

  “Oh for fuck’s sake!” She threw the cell onto her bed and plunked down beside it. She’d been hoping it was Jo, even though none of her calls, texts, or emails had been returned. It was now two days since Jo’s number had been put out of service and Sam clung to a faint hope for a call back each time her cell rang. She clutched her bath towel over her shoulders and tried to find solace in the fact she’d be going to Timmins on Monday morning.

  It was going to be a stressful weekend of waiting and wondering as she strategized for two meetings. The first one was an interview for the criminal lawyer position she’d applied for in the Timmins law firm. The second, more important rendezvous involved facing Jo.

  How could she ever convince Jo of her love now? It’s not like she’d bring Trish along to corroborate her story of the confusion over Joanne. She desperately wanted to get that job in Timmins to prove to Jo that she was serious about building a relationship.

  She’d avoided the gym that morning to get a head start on preparing for her meetings. Sam had always been on top of her game, in both the job and women departments, but now felt insecure as she struggled to come to terms with what was at stake. Her life depended on making things right with Jo because there was no turning back now. She was in love.

  Sam reached for the small bundle she kept on her bedside table. She recognized the kindling as ones she’d cut at her cottage. For Jo to have brought it all the way here must have meant she really believed Sam could start a fire in her heart. Already had. It was an insult to have it thrown at her, to be discarded on the street like garbage when she knew Jo must have treasured the cedar sticks. There had been such hopeful plans before that encounter. Sam had to get them back on track. The rest of her life depended on it.

  Day turned into night faster than Sam would have liked. She’d been busy at the office, working like crazy to clear her neglected inbox and gather case files that could be useful for interview preparation. Lunch flew by without even an apple and she was starving by the time the garlic aroma of Trish’s pasta hit her nostrils at the front door to her house.

  It had taken her two days before she could even look at the woman she blamed for driving Jo away. Trish had been hurting, too, and Sam finally stopped condemning her for traumatizing Jo. She accepted her own responsibility in the mess and just wanted to move on to a more collegial cohabitation until either she or Trish moved out. Sam avoided talking about what happened with Jo, opting instead to keep things amicable while she plotted her next move to win back the woman in her heart.

  “Hey Sam, I picked up some lasagna for dinner. Would you like some?” Trish was on her best behavior and even seemed to have matured while Sam shut her out.

  “It sure smells good.” Sam stopped by the kitchen, her arms weighted down with files.

  “I’ll get you a plate,” Trish said. “I have a salad in a bag to go with it if you’d like some of that too.”

  “Thanks. That would be nice. I’ll drop these off in my room then be right back.”

  Sam trudged down the hall, trying to ignore the fact she should have been sharing dinner with Jo instead of an all-too-pleasing ex that would be back in her bed with the slightest encouragement. Sex for the sake of sex was no longer an option. She could only think of touching Jo. Even having dinner with Trish felt like a betrayal of sorts, but she was starving and in a hurry to study because she had to get that job.

  Things often happened for a reason and Sam allowed herself the luxury of optimism as she planned her next few days. The weekend would be spent studying and researching in preparation for her Monday afternoon interview in Timmins. After that, she would head to Jo’s, and if all went well, spend the night making up. It had to go well. She could never go back to the way things were.

  “How was your day?” Trish put a plate full of pasta and salad in front of Sam.

  “It just zipped by.” Sam took a bite, realizing how famished she was at the first taste of the cheesy lasagna. “This is good. Thanks for sharing.”

  “I’ve come to terms with things, Sam.” Trish moved a lasagna noodle around her plate then looked up. “I know you’ve fallen in love with someone else. I want to be here as a friend for you. That’s the least I can do, after all. I still feel so bad about the mix-up.”

  “So do I. I’m sure Jo feels like shit right now.” Sam couldn’t look at Trish. “Anyway, I’m not giving up and plan to speak with her on Monday when I’m back in Timmins.”

  “Have you heard from her? Does she know you’re coming?”

  “No.”

  “What if she refuses to talk to you? What are you going to do then?”

  Sam sipped her water. “I already know she won’t talk to me. My plan is to tell her about my intention to move to Timmins for her, job offer or not.”

  “I still can’t believe you’d consider moving way up north for a woman.” Trish dropped her head. “You never would have done that for me.”

  “I couldn’t see you moving up there for me, either, espec
ially after refusing to even go up to my cottage last summer.”

  “It was during bug season and you know how I hate mosquitoes. Besides, I’m a proud city lesbian and would shrivel up and die if I had to live in the middle of the bush.”

  Sam stood, her empty plate in hand. “Timmins is hardly the middle of the bush.”

  “Well, whatever, but you’re going to be freezing your ass off up there at this time of year.”

  “Not at all. It can be snuggly and cozy, especially with the right conditions.” She put her plate on the counter and looked for the bag for the leftover garlic bread. “Thanks for the dinner. I’ll clean up, then I’ve got to lock myself away to study.”

  “Joanne wants to get you a new TV.” Trish stuck close to Sam as they cleared the table. “She’s offered to go shopping with me this weekend and buy a replacement. She feels like a shit. That’s why she wanted to talk to you the other day.”

  Sam rinsed the dishcloth and wiped the table, her jaw tight. “I don’t need a new TV and would rather not have her anywhere near here.”

  “The other day was my fault,” Trish said. “I freaked when I heard she planned to see you. Can you blame me?”

  “What were you doing talking with her anyway?”

  “She’s the one who contacted me.” Trish crossed her arms and leaned against the doorway into the hallway. “She said she wanted to apologize. Then told me she was meeting you and…I lost it. I thought for sure she was betraying me and trying to move in on you.”

  “She’s way too young for me.” Sam tried to squeeze by, but Trish grabbed her arm.

  “She’s only four years younger than me. She wants to be a lawyer. I’m only an administrative assistant, so how can I compete with that? That’s why you left me, isn’t it?”

  “Trish, our breaking up had nothing to do with our jobs.” Sam sighed, pulling her arm away. “I was the one who screwed up, thinking great sex was enough when I really needed to grow up and find myself.”

  “We did have lots of fun, didn’t we? I’m glad we’re still talking, Sam. I hope we stay friends.”