Kindling for the Heart Page 13

  “Oh, Mom.” Jo took a swig of wine. “Sam would never give up her job in Toronto for one here.”

  “Why not?” Anna asked, breaking off a piece of garlic bread.

  “Because she loves the city life.” Jo stared at her plate, wondering how she was going to eat anything the way her stomach was in knots.

  “I’d much rather live in Timmins than Toronto.” Her mother dished up some salad. “Life’s too complicated in a big city. We have so much to offer up north that I don’t know why anyone would want to live anywhere else.”

  “Big cities are better for lesbians. There’s a lot more choice.”

  “Josephine, I’m sure Sam’s not like that.” Jo escaped to the kitchen sink, her mother’s stern tone a warning to behave as she scraped her plate into the garbage bin beneath.

  Anna’s chair dragged against the floor. “Why don’t we have dessert now? I brought some chocolate brownies I baked this morning.”

  “Chocolate brownies are my favorite,” Sam said, her voice totally steady.

  Anna unwrapped her brownies and Jo helped put them on a plate before they both returned to the table. She let on all was normal, hoping the awkward moment had passed.

  “I was just looking at Mollie.” Her mother spoke as Jo passed the plate of brownies to Sam, avoiding her eyes. “I think her nails could use a clipping.”

  “I know. I’ve been meaning to do it for a while now.”

  “Well you’d better do it soon before she scratches all of your floors,” her mother said.

  “I don’t know why you want to change that nice bamboo flooring in your living room.” Anna passed the brownies to their mother. “It’s not like she put it in anyway. You did all the work.”

  Jo rolled her eyes toward Sam. “She’s referring to my ex.”

  “I think Jo’s reclaimed oak will be a lot nicer,” Sam said. “Reclaiming is a good thing, especially when it means getting rid of baggage from an old life.” She bit into her brownie. “Mmmm, these are so good, Anna. Aren’t you going to have one?”

  “Nope, I’m on a diet.” She folded her napkin.

  Jo fumed at Sam’s insinuation about her having baggage. “Then why did you bring them?”

  “Because I want to fatten up my little sister.” Anna stood and began to clear plates. “Well, Mom, we should get going soon and let these two get on with their evening.”

  “We’ll help with the dishes first.” Her mother stood.

  “I’ll clean up the dishes,” Sam said. “This family has been great to me and I’m really going to miss everyone.”

  “Are you leaving this week?” Jo’s mother asked.

  “I’m still finalizing plans,” Sam said, as though it was nothing.

  “It was great the two of you dropped by.” Jo got up and ushered them to the door, her legs barely working. It was taking all her strength to maintain her composure. She exaggerated a yawn to fight back her tears. She couldn’t get them gone soon enough.

  “I didn’t mean to spring my leaving this week on you like that.” Sam stood near the kitchen sink, loading the dishwasher.

  “I see.” Jo felt numb. “I think I spent too much time in the cold today. I’m coming down with something. Do you mind cleaning up on your own?”

  Sam approached Jo. “One of the senior partners in my law firm asked me to come back this week.” She sighed. “I told him I’d be back for Thursday.”

  “So you’re leaving tomorrow, then?” Jo swallowed, pushing back a sob.

  “Wednesday, if that’s okay.” Sam reached out to give a hug.

  “Don’t touch me.” Jo backed away, struggling to keep her composure. “You know I can’t do this.”

  “Wait, Jo.” Sam grabbed Jo’s hands and squeezed. “There’s something here between us. I know. Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean this has to end. We can talk every day and visit on weekends.”

  “Sam, no.” Jo twisted her hands free. “It’s better this way. I need to be by myself.” She rushed to her bedroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Sam diligently loaded the dishwasher, pondering her next move. The clanging of dishes and ticking of the kitchen wall clock were the only sounds in the silent house. Mollie was with Jo, the two of them sequestered in the master bedroom and already sleeping for all Sam knew. The end of dinner had been a disaster.

  Leaving on Wednesday morning meant a new reality without Jo was soon approaching. Sam had to do something and fast, because the alternative of having a new pen pal instead of a long-distance lover was distressing.

  Her phone pinged, and she picked it up to see a new message from Trish. The subject line was, I can’t wait until you get home. Sam tossed her phone on the counter and resumed cleaning up the dishes. She knew Trish wanted her back, was willing to forgive her eviction notice and sudden departure, but Sam had realized the futility of this relationship months before ending it. She didn’t love Trish and never had. The sex had been great, but passion soon sizzled out as Sam wished for something more.

  She wanted her heart to palpitate for her lover, longed to melt in her eyes, and needed to see a long-term future together. They had discussed it a few times, but Trish was content to exist in a relationship with no future and undefined boundaries. Perhaps it was the age difference. Trish was only twenty-five to her thirty-seven, but Sam suspected it was more than that. She needed to feel completed by her partner in life. The way she felt with Jo.

  The clock struck eight as Sam wiped the kitchen counter for the last time, every crumb and streak cleared up. She threw her cloth into the sink and resolved to approach Jo after a quick bathroom break.

  Jo heard the bathroom door close and knew it was her chance to sneak out for Mollie’s last trip into the cold before bed. She’d been lying in her room, feeling sorry for herself and fighting back tears. Sam had stirred something in her and, she had to admit, Jo liked having her around. The abrupt confirmation of the impending return to Toronto during dinner was like a kick in the stomach.

  The night was cold and clear. Stars were abundant, and a hint of northern lights shimmered in the dark sky. Jo held onto Mollie’s leash as the two walked along snowmobile tracks in her backyard. She normally would have let Mollie run around in the dark, but she was through taking chances. She was going to need Mollie’s company more than ever.

  Her heart thumped with each crunch along the hard-packed snow. Why did she have to meet Sam, and why did Sam have to leave so soon? If she really wanted to stay, she could have refused an early return to work. Or she could have asked to work remotely, like Jo often did.

  Jo had wanted to believe they’d met for a reason and that Sam was somehow destined to stay in Timmins. The proclamation of a Wednesday departure put an end to that hope. How ironic for Sam to suggest kindling for her heart when Jo felt like she’d started a raging fire in the pit of her stomach.

  “The night sky is so beautiful right now.” Sam suddenly appeared, startling Jo. She was bundled up in her red parka and carrying on as though all was normal. “I’ve never really seen the northern lights before. This is such a special place. I can see why you love it.”

  “I’m sure you have lots of remarkable spaces in your big city.” Jo leapt forward as Mollie tugged on the leash.

  “Not like this.” Sam followed, trotting to keep up. “Being here with you is better than any place I’ve ever been.”

  “Oh, give me a break.” Jo yanked on Mollie’s leash. “Let’s go back inside, Mollie. We’ll give Sam some space to enjoy our night sky.”

  “Jo, please don’t be like this. Can we at least talk about things?”

  “What things? How you really want to screw me before leaving?”

  “I never want to screw you.” Sam ran a mitt over Mollie’s back. “I won’t deny I want to make love with you.”

  “You must have a screw loose if you think I’m going to fall for that.” Jo turned around to face Sam. “Making love sounds so much nicer than s
crewing, doesn’t it?”

  Sam approached, their breaths melding in the cold night air. “I’m the one who’s screwed. My life’s in Toronto, yes, but you’re here.”

  “You propositioned me the first day we met.” Jo swung around and marched to the house, her steps wobbly through the snow. “Nothing’s different.”

  “I said I wanted to have sex with you.” Sam followed behind, her breathing uneven as she struggled to keep up. “It’s not like that anymore. I can’t stop thinking about you, Jo. Please, let’s talk when we get inside.”

  “What good is talking going to do?” Jo pushed open the door and stepped into the warmth. “Hurry up and get inside, Mollie, before we lose too much heat.”

  “I want you to hear me out.” Sam kicked off her boots. “I’ll make us each a cup of tea. Will you at least join me for that? What kind do you want?”

  Jo sighed. “All right. Chamomile. I’ll get into my sweats and meet you in the living room. Just a cup of tea, then I’m going to bed. Alone.”

  Sam rushed around the kitchen that was starting to feel more like home than hers ever did. A touch of honey in each steaming mug, and Sam was ready for the closing argument of her life. The only problem was that she hadn’t rehearsed it or even gotten all of her facts straight. But then again, she wasn’t straight, and neither was Jo. She gave a nervous chuckle to herself.

  Sam handed Jo her tea, then sat on the floor next to a reclining Mollie. She looked at Jo sitting upright on the couch, her mug firmly gripped between two hands and resting on her knees. God she was beautiful, her swollen lips inviting a kiss, and Sam could hardly breathe. She searched for words and was afraid she’d only croak if she tried to speak.

  “Well?” Jo sipped her tea, long eyelashes fluttering over her mug as she waited for a response. “You added honey. Nice. Trying to sweeten me up?”

  “No…I…you’re sweet enough.” Sam focused on Mollie. She was thankful her cup of tea was on the floor because her hands were trembling as they sifted through the golden fur. “I’m sorry. That’s not what I meant to say.”

  “Spit it out Sam.” Jo’s patience was fading, her eyes beginning to roll. “Why don’t you sit up on the couch, so I don’t have to stare at that fucking bamboo flooring.”

  “No.” Sam struggled to find words as Jo glared at the floor, frowning and nostrils flaring with each breath. Suddenly it made sense. “You made love with Jan on this bamboo, didn’t you? Right before she broke your heart.”

  “So what if I did?” Jo shot to her feet, tea splashing on the floor. “Fuck.” She slammed her mug down on the coffee table. “Jan wanted to christen the bamboo and then she left me three weeks later. Can you believe it? This flooring was supposed to be about our future together. Something we’d chosen because of its lack of toxins and smaller environmental footprint. Look at it now. It’s full of toxic memories and left a footprint on my heart.”

  “You need to desecrate this flooring and move on.” Sam stood; adrenaline kicked in with the fear Jo was about to rush back to her room.

  “Don’t tell me what I need to do.” Jo moved toward Mollie, who was now looking around, panting at the raised voices. “I house trained her in this room, you know. No amount of piss or shit could degrade this flooring enough to make me feel better about it. I’m going to have one of the biggest bonfires ever when I rip it from my house.”

  “I hope you do.” Sam kept her focus on Mollie and edged closer to Jo. “I’d like to be at that bonfire with you.”

  “I’m sure you’ll be too busy back in the city. Come on, Mollie.”

  “I’ve fallen in love with you, Jo.” Sam’s voice shook. “Please don’t shut me out because I can’t imagine going back to my empty life without you.”

  “Sam, I…”

  “I feel like I’ve been waiting all my life to meet you,” Sam continued, tears breaching onto her cheeks as she lost her struggle to hold them back. “Please give me a chance.”

  Jo stopped, her hand gripping the doorframe and her breathing shallow. “A chance for what?” Her words offered hope, a willingness to consider the possibilities.

  “To see where this will take us.” Sam closed the distance between them and gently placed a kiss on Jo’s lips.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Sam struggled to stay standing as Jo fell into her arms, but they finally toppled to the floor, their bodies entwined. A sharp pain jabbed her left knee as she hit the unforgiving bamboo, but her gasp was more of an excited response to Jo’s tongue slipping inside her mouth. Mollie danced around their heads, panting as though she somehow wanted to play.

  “Oh, Jo.” Sam reached under a baggy sweatshirt to discover hard nipples. “I want you so much.”

  “Go lie down, Mollie.” Jo pointed to the sheepskin rug across the room and Mollie retreated. Jo’s uneven breathing warmed Sam’s nose and exploring hands cupped her breasts.

  Sam began to remove Jo’s shirt, their tongues swimming together and their lips surely to be bruised.

  “You’re going to take me right here, on the floor?” Jo struggled out of her sweatshirt.

  “Fuck yes.” Sam pulled her shirt off, pressing her naked chest against Jo’s. “I want you to think of me, of this, from now on whenever you look at this bamboo flooring. We’ll cleanse it right here and now.”

  Jo rubbed their breasts together, massaging with an urgency that disclosed her desire. Sam resisted her attempt to push them back against the floor, her hand reaching into Jo’s sweats. She was wet, oh so wet, and Sam knew they’d be making love.

  “You’re going to get me off right now if you do that.” Jo squirmed, her hips swaying and rising.

  “That’s the plan.” Sam’s fingertips fluttered in Jo’s folds, the silky skin so welcoming. Belonging. Sam felt like she’d just come home.

  Jo’s back arched, her hips off the floor. “Oh my God, Sam.” Her breathing stopped until the orgasm released, sending out a gasp that ended with a shrill moan. She dropped down, panting, and grasped at Sam.

  Sam grabbed a cushion and placed it under Jo’s head. “I want you to lie back and enjoy while we do the next treatment on this floor.” Sam pulled off Jo’s bottoms and removed the rest of her own clothes.

  “I sure hope my mother doesn’t come to the door.” Jo reached up for Sam, her hand fondling a breast.

  “I’ll be on top of you if she does, so it’ll be my butt she sees, if that’s what you’re worried about. Otherwise, I think she’d be happy for us.” Sam grabbed a fleece throw from the couch and put it beside them. “We can use this as a security blanket. I want you to relax and forget about your mother.”

  “Forget about who?” Jo pulled Sam onto her and tried to roll them over.

  “I’m not finished with you yet, young lady.” Sam planted another lingering kiss on Jo’s mouth then began to work her way down.

  “I’m older than you.” Jo giggled as she convulsed with pleasure, Sam’s lips and tongue tasting her rounded breasts.

  “I refuse to call you my old lady.” Sam smiled against Jo. “You have a body that could rival most women half your age, especially these beautiful breasts. Mmmm. They taste so good.”

  “You’re a real charmer.” Jo clawed at the back of Sam’s head. “A smooth talker. Is that how you speak in a courtroom? Get the jury to believe you?”

  “Juries are hard to convince.” Sam hovered just below Jo’s belly button. “Like you. I’m going to show you just how smooth my tongue can be when there’s no talking involved. I want to prove to you how much I want you.”

  “I want you to need me, Sam. Like I need you.” Jo raised her head off the floor and looked at Sam. “Let me see it in your eyes.”

  “I need you so bad right now, I could take a bite.” Sam nibbled at the skin just above Jo’s pubic hair then looked up again, blue eyes full of love glistening back.

  “Oh Sam, what are we going to do when you leave this week?”

  “Oh baby, we’ll figure it out.” Sam kissed Jo’s
belly button.

  “So now I’m your baby.” Jo leaned back. “What does that mean?”

  “That I want to take care of you.” Sam’s kisses trailed further down, tasting Jo’s readiness.

  “I can take care of myself.” Jo’s hips swayed against the floor.

  “Not like this.” Sam’s tongue claimed its target, and nothing else mattered.

  Jo cried after she came. Long, loud sobs that stirred Mollie. “It’s okay, girl.”

  “It was just okay?” Sam crawled back up, pulling the blanket over the two of them as she wrapped her arms around Jo.

  “Oh Sam.” Jo buried her head in Sam’s shoulder. “I’ve fallen in love with you. Three years protecting my heart and in less than two weeks it’s gone to you. I’m scared.”

  Sam kissed away Jo’s tears. “I promise to take good care of your heart, Jo. I trust you’ll look after mine because it belongs to you now. No one has ever touched my heart the way you have. I love you so much, Ms. Josephine Lavigne.”

  “It’s my turn to show you what you mean to me.” Jo sat up. “Let’s go to my bed. This floor has become a literal pain in the ass.”

  “We can’t have that.” Sam got to her feet and offered Jo a hand. “I hope you can stand on those wobbly legs of yours.”

  Jo led Sam into the master bedroom and pulled back the blankets on her bed. “I missed sleeping with you.”

  “I knew it.” Sam jumped against Jo and the two toppled onto the sheets. “Ooh, fresh flannel.”

  “I did change them this morning, but only because they needed to be.”

  Sam grinned. “Oh, come on, I bet you knew the vibrations of sharing the snowmobile seat would turn me on and we’d end up in bed.”

  “You think so, eh?” Jo giggled as she climbed on top. “Let’s see just how turned on you are right now.” Sam felt Jo’s arm reaching down, her fingers sending sparks as they reached her wet center.